Posts by Ocean Devil

Your favorite almost-adult slowly crumbling under the excruciating pressures of life. Besides that, I am kind of funny, a terrible writer, and Beyoncé's incarnate (I'm aware that she isn't dead...yet). Ive been told that I smell like spices, so if you like cinnamon, you will definitely enjoy me.

It Rained

This morning it rained and for the first time, I found solace in the quiet pitter-patter of rain drops.  For years, I associated the rain with sadness and sorrow. Waking up felt like a chore, and doing things in the morning: a drag. The aftermath of everything being drenched in rain made me feel gloomy and muggy. But this morning, it was fascinatingly different.

I woke up and I didn’t feel drowsy; I felt revived and refreshed  like flowers after their first taste of rain during a drought. It was much needed.

I’m just overfilled with joy. Nothing feels like it can go wrong right now.

 

Enlightened

I can not sit here and believe that there isn't divinity in this world. Our existence is proof enough that it exist. We are all created with the purest, holiest, sheerest, specs of light and that in itself is mind boggling. We Are Magic.
And
Shooting stars exist.
The other day I saw one and it was beautiful.

*Warning*

(This was written while I was inebriated.)
Well, im drunk.
Not blackout drunk, but deunk enougb to know that I shant be wroting because I wont be makkng conerant sentwncws and for that I am sorry.
Twas the first day I went out with my bald head. It shall be noted, that I come froma. Culturw that values feminity and beauty. A bald head goes against all of that.
So imagine, a parkingn lot filled with over 200 sudanese people, half of whom are men.
Usuallt, I dont have trouble on the recoeving end. On averge o should be allotted three men for the entire night. But tonight, I struggled.
Honestly, I hate using men as tokens for my beauty slot but I cant help it. Its just how women measure beauty and as much as I dont want to conform to that idea, I'm already player in it.
It took over an hour for someoneto approach me with their meaty eyes!. Keep in mind,usually its not thw most flattering look, being wyeballed by pussy hungary mutants but tonight twas sort of a relief.
In the sea full of weaves and wigs, no sane sudanese man would flock over to a girl with no hair. Its almost blasphemous. Your friends would consider you," ghey" and to my strictly conservative and traditional culture, you would be declared an outcast. But luckily a few took that risk
(Picked this back up sober)
I believe the highlight of my night went kind of like this.
Him: Whats your snapchat?
Me: UH I should probably tell you, Im a feminist.
Him: 😐

I cant tell if that makes people more interested in me, or causes them to flee like Im some sort of parasite. Either way, sounds like a win win situation for me.

In related news, I have found myself getting upset over my desecrating brain cells. I have a couple years until my brain fully develops and my alcohol consumption is slowing that down. Truly, Im concerned that each shot takes away 10 smart points from my brains life. Each shot takes away a neuron that could have possibly been the answer to curing cancer!!!!
Moral of the story: Don't drink if you want to be smart.

2017- Forever

I am scared, in fact, I am terrified trembling with uncertainty,
at the thought of the unknown.
I promised myself i wouldn't think about this, today. I swore that I wouldn't come back here, today. I wouldn't do this, today.
Im falling into the abyss and it taste like home.
The darkness
The hurt
The hollowness
The fall
it all Feels too familiar
Painfully comforting,
Im sleeping with a blanket composed of nails and sharp thorns,
it keeps me warm.